However, with joy, comes misery. (Right whatthefuck that sounds dumb)
And sometimes, I feel more like a zombie walking across a path filled with ice cubes, that freezes and immobilizes you. I work pretty hard to get to where I am today.
Years ago, my parents both stopped working, and my dad opened his own business. Just as I thought everything was working out fine -- my dad realising his dream, everything gone wrong. My dad got scammed by his other 3 business partners, and what's left is a business with debts and that could not even pay its rent - 15k a month.
With no savings at all and my siblings still schooling at both primary and secondary school, I started working, tutoring, doing makeup to pay for my own expenses. Soon, I spent my savings on my home bridal concept - kellysbridals. I worked extremely hard, with bridal makeup dates stacking high, eating into my holidays, weekends, mainly the period after september. That is the peak season for bridal related work. However, it wasn't enough to help anyone else in my family. I get enough for second half of the year, but that is about it. All I could get was enough income to pay for my rent and bills - 300 rent, and 200 over bills per month. And of course the food and transportation. I made one of the biggest choice in my life - I stopped schooling, I quit my university degree half way.
It has been close to 7 years since I started on my makeup industry, 2.5 years since I did my home bridal concept, and 2 years working full time. I've learnt a lot. Over these years, I had no teachers around me. All I had was a ACER computer that is 7 over years old. I started off 7 years ago with only 1 stack of Costalscents palette, and 7 brushes that I bought online. Today, I have countless brands of expensive makeup items ready to be used on my brides, brush sets, I have an entire room dedicated to my bridal and makeup service. I mastered makeup & hairstyling, Adobe illustrator, Indesign and a little of fashion designs all by myself, oh, and of course, with my old but trusty ACER - and internet.
I could not thank my friends around me enough for not giving up on me after countless times of me not attending outings, not asking them out. I am so thankful to my photography and modeling friends' kind effort to do photoshoots for me - though I am sure some hate me deep inside for a moment, but not for long. And I am so fortunate to have a supportive boyfriend who walked me through the difficulties, for giving me a pad on the shoulder that everything is going to be okay during my sleepless, teary nights.
My dad's business is finally coming to an end soon, and I am free to do what I want to do finally. I gave myself a little break, and I have a new perspective now. It's been several years since I planned this big thing (working secretly now).. Now is the time, and I spent the past months not sleeping much everyday, searching on resources I need. Again, everything wouldn't have been possible without my trusty ACER.
Just as I thought I was ready to venture out, ACER grew weak. ACER's fingers got numb (Keyboard screwed up), and it finally died. ACER has turned from a trusty machine to a rock that shines a bit when you press the on button. And I have my years of portfolio, my business plans, bridal images files all trapped in the brains of ACER.
Strangely I don't exactly feel sad about it. Perhaps that is ACER's way of telling me to forget what's done, and do something new. Over these years, I've never told anyone what exactly I was going through - some months with absolutely nothing in my bank account - and how much fear I had.
I'm just a girl who doesn't talk much, interact much. Someone who gave up on her tertiary education and could be jobless forever. Someone who possible couldn't achieve anything in her life.
However, I'm strangely proud. I am not rich, but I could safely say that I earned every cent I had with sweat and tears (literally). I earned everything the hard way - I didn't just draw a stable salary. I strive hard to stay alive.
And I will work even harder on what's coming next.
Well, back to the PVZ game. what do you think happened after all the ice cubes, winter melon & pea shooters? The zombies won.